~*~ tHiS iS mE tAkE mE hOw I aM ~*~ [entries|friends|calendar] crazy_lush69 [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

why cant things happen the way you want them to [17 Jun 2006|02:58am] [ mood | restless ] [ music | dandilion -- nicole richie ] i saw the breakup and it was soooo good...   i laughed sooo hard in the early beginning of the movie, i was crying. i didnt like the end, disappointing...   and i cried bcuz it was sad at like a part why am i such an ass? i have this chance, and everytime i have some excuse. why am i so scared? why cant i just suck it up and stop bein so dumb about it. something that could potentially be good for me, and i throw out the excuse im tired...  grrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥

how could i want something so bad, but be so afraid of it [30 Jan 2006|09:32pm] [ mood | unsure/afraid ] [ music | you're beautiful -- james blunt ] i can admit it... im afraid... really afraid...  no guys want me, no guy wants to date me... all i have are these STUPID little crushes on guys. and its not like they are returned. its always said    "you want what you cant have"   im afraid one day i am gonna fall for someone... and im gonna be hanging around a bunch of guys... and what if that one guy ive been having my major crush on for soooo long... realizes maybe i do want her, now that i cant have her... and approaches it... and bcuz its been something i wanted so bad in the past... i go for it... knowing i have something so good going on... i guess what im sayin is, im afraid to fall in love, and then have that temptation surround me... will i be able to control myself from taking control over something ive always wanted... or will i give into temptation... but what if you have something so great, but that temptation might be something even better... you dont know until you take the chance, but in the end you might screw up something so perfect. im not saying this will happen to me. bcuz i know it wont. im no where NEAR looking as good as my friends do. they all have guys CONSTANTLY hitting on them. and i sit back and watch, and the only reason they are talking to me is bcuz i am their friend, and you gotta be nice to the friend. i dont think more than half my friends get how it is to sit back and watch the HOT one get hit on... thats how i know this wont happen to me and its a REALLY REALLY big WHAT IF! i guess i never realized how afraid i am of something i want soooo bad!   8 | ♥

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